Trip back to Ipoh.

I'm currently at my aunt's place. Tapping into a public wireless connection, which is an illegal act, but I no longer care as I need a cure for boredom since SOME people is too busy to sms me. Lol.

Anyway, something happened on the way back to Ipoh yesterday. Read on if you wanna find out. *wink*


From Subang Jaya, guess how long it took to get to Rawang? An hour? 2 hours? 3 hours? NO! It was 4 frigging hours! 4 hours to Rawang! Is that mad or what? But I guess that was to be expected. Since we’re going back on the day before Chinese New Year itself, the night when the Chinese have reunion dinners.

We FINALLY stopped at a rest stop near Ladang Bikam to use the public facility – ladies and gents room. We couldn’t bear the thought of disposing our feces and pee in the middle of the highway like how the maid did. *Well, not IN THE MIDDLE! More like, beside. In the bushes of course! So we didn’t see anything. Hahahahhah* Anyway, when we got to the public toilet, you could say I was shocked. You know why? It was the first time I saw men queuing up in order to pee! Hahahahha. I tried to get a picture but Momok’s huge face kept blocking my camera! Shrink your face Momok! At least until when even ants can’t see it. =D

Anyway, back to what I was going to say, we were queuing up, like the good Malaysians that we are*and it was a LONG queue, I tell you!*, when it was almost our turn, this Malay woman, W*No, not a ghost* came from behind and stood in front of the line. The Chinese women in front of us were obviously annoyed by this lady’s doing, but didn’t voice out their opinion. Then, this OTHER Malay woman(in yellow, therefore, shall be renamed as Y) came up from behind and cut the queue, just like her friend, W. However, Y picked the wrong time to cut queue as she stood right in front of a formidable opponent – Dear Mummykins. Hahahahha. Boy, was mummy mad! To put it mildly, Mummy voiced out her discomforts towards the behavior of two Malay ladies cutting queue. With Mummy leading the ‘assault’, the other women too voiced out their opinion. It went something like this.

Mummy: Why are you not queuing up like the others? It’s unfair to cut queue like this.
W/Y: We’re not cutting queue, we’re just standing here. You can go first if you want,
It’s not like we’re stopping you.

*Ding Ding Ding! Round One goes to…………..Queue Cutters!

Mummy: It’s an unspoken rule to queue up to go to the toilet! What you are doing is not only unfair to us but to people behind as well! We have been waiting for a long
time already and with you people acting ignorant and cutting queue like this, it’s no wonder it took so long for our turns!
W/Y: ……

*Ding Ding Ding! Round Two goes to…………………..Anti Queue Cutters Crew!

Then, you wouldn’t believe what happened. Y was so obviously pissed and started signaling her pal, W. Barely closing my eyes for an instant, I heard a sickening thud. When I opened my eyes, I saw Mummy clutching her stomach, grimacing in the obvious pain. Uh oh. This is what happens when you try to stand up for yourself against well protected ‘bumiputera’s. A horribly exciting catfight erupted. Mummy busted out a disturbingly perfect left hook, another right punch to the stomach. A scratch on the face! Ouch! That’s gotta hurt. To wrap it up, a spinning kick to the ass! What an amazing feat!*Mummy can’t lift her legs too high up. Not that much of traning. Yet* w000ts! And Mummy is the winner! *holds both hands up and waves to the estatic crowd*

Hahahahhahahahah. Okay, the paragraph above isn't true at all. Yeap. That was just something I made up in like, a minute. Hahahhahah. Bet you enjoyed it though. However, I can’t really imagine my mum busting out a spinning kick. It’s, uh, disturbing. Anyway, after Mum came out of the toilet, Y was seen talking to a Malay woman behind her, who were complaining that the toilet was stinky. Anyway, Y was apparently comparing Chinese and Malay feces. Claimed that Malay feces apparently, smells heavenly, like, I quote: telur mutiara. What the hell? Egg of pearl? Does something like that even exist? I wonder how it smells like. I bet it stinks more than Durian. Blergh.

Anyway, we’re back on the road now. So I’m free to type this out. Mummy and Daddy are absolutely fanatical over these horrid Hokkien songs. Can you say pure torture? Yikes.

Na si wa wu ji bak ban~*If I had a hundred million dollars* Oh my god! Someone kill me. PLEASE. Before I turn into a hokkien song lover!




P.S. No Malay woman was harmed during the real incident. Don't sue me yeah! =D