Valentines Day..

Ahh, year after year, every girl would hope that maybe someday, a gift would arrive for them. Normally, I am that kind of girl. But not this year..it seems like just another day to me...a day full of school and work...I'm really lucky to have a friend or cousin like Chien...she made me laugh so much today..I'm thankful...=)..thanks Chienz...I love you so much....=)

Now, he's asking me if I still love him...I don't know what to answer but yes..here's the chat history:

O.o...o.O says:
wanna ask u something...
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
okiez..
O.o...o.O says:
how do u feel abt mi now...
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
now..
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
i still do love you..
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
just..not as much as i used to
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
i went and did a quiz on why i was feeling like this..turns out that its becaucse the 'honeymoon period' of our relationship was over
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
and now its more like a stable relationship..
O.o...o.O says:
wat do u mean...
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
erm..
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
honeymoon period is when the couples are still so y dovey...stable relationship is more like...starting to accept the fact that ur a part of my life and stuff like that.
O.o...o.O says:
but it feels like your're treatin mi as a friend onli...
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
yeah mer..
O.o...o.O says:
i'm still crazy abt u..
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
i know..
O.o...o.O says:
n its not gonna go away..
O.o...o.O says:
it hurts when u're like treatin mi tat...
O.o...o.O says:
u rarly laugh....i mean lol...
O.o...o.O says:
i tried to make funny things n tell u weird stuffz...
O.o...o.O says:
but u just O.o....
O.o...o.O says:
n swt
O.o...o.O says:
i'm tryin veri hard not to to cheer myself while trying to make u laugh..
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
sorry
O.o...o.O says:
u're bored of mi isi...
O.o...o.O says:
isit*
™- Ŧą Ġяå Ǻģðм Ōяŧ -™ Je t'adore, mon cher. Je suis le vôtre pour toujours. says:
sometimes

hahahahaha...this is how it went..I was so tempted...tempted to tell him that...no..I don't think I love you anymore and I don't think we should still be together..I was THAT close. But something held me back..I don't think if I was given another chance, I would say that. I don't want to hurt him...Am I stupid for giving him hope? I don't want him to be another one of those crazy guys..still having feelings for me after a few years...

As for mun cheng, I can't believe that Kah Yan said that there was a big chance that I would break up with dear and get together with him...I know I want to do that...I feel so much more comfortable and happy when I'm with him but yesterday...he said...that he didn't want to get into a relationship...it kind of hurt...in a way...I'm being so insecure...I want him to want me...because I have so much feelings for him...I would be so crushed...he's perfect for me in every way...we have so much in common..He lets me have my freedom because he cannot stand being controlled, totally like me, he's adventurous, he wouldn't tell me things like, don't do anything dangerous. I mean, whats life if there isn't any mixture of fun and danger in it? It would be totally BORING. I don't think dear notices this. He always forbades me doing this, doing that. I hate it so much. Ugh, there's so much about him that irritates me now I realise. And the DOESN'T cook!Oh my god. I don't think I want to be with some guy who can't even cook noodles. I know this is a crappy reason to break up. I know! Thats why I'm not going to do it. Not now.

Valentines Day?Not much of one for me this year..sigh. Just wish that he would call me tonight so I can stop feeling depressed. I'm depending on mun cheng again..I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop myself from doing that...