Stop.

I swore not to shed another tear for you. I swore...but I really couldn't do it. Its been a few weeks since I last cried. I thought I was getting better, but I don't think I've made any progress at all in the past few weeks. I didn't feel anything at all. The occasional twinge of pain and hurt, but nothing else. I still can't smile. A true smile which comes from my heart. I long for that.

When he left, he took away all the colours in my world, leaving behind darkness. Nothing. Empty. Strangely, I don't hate him. I just, miss him more than ever. When we still messaged each other like crazy, waiting for his messages when he was away from his phone or when he was busy seemed like an eternity. I guess that I still didn't realise how long eternity could be back then. Now I have an inkling of what eternity means though.

I was in the shower just now. I made the mistake on dwelling on the thought that maybe when I get out of the shower, he would finally message me. Yeah, stupid hope. I know. I can't help it. I think of him everyday. I wonder, if he thinks of me too. When I think about how busy he is with all his new friends, its like someone just stabbed me, right in my heart. It bleeds, every single moment of the day.

I wish my heart would just stop.