Ravings of a Lunatic (well, nearing lunacy anyways)

My hand was groping for it. " I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me, I still feel your touch in my dreams..." There. Got it. " Hello? " I rubbed my eyes groggily. That must be Yu Khim, he's supposed to call me about the tutioning details. " Sleeping? Like old times eh? You never change." He said on the phone. "Yeah, I have tuition later." I grumbled. Disturbing my sleep, I was a tad bit annoyed. What do you want? Just get straight to the point and let me sleep in peace, I thought. "Oh, I'm coming back to Malaysia tomorrow." He said. "Oh, okay" Still blur and sleepy, I answered. Wait. Coming back to Malaysia? Is he? He can't be. Somehow, I thought he was gone forever. "Aren't you suprised?" He asked, obviously hurt. " Now thats a suprise." I said at the same time. Closing my eyes, his image floated into my mind, The letter. That letter. "Okay, get back to sleep, bye." He was gone. Again. Still lying on my bed, the bed where he once lied on. I knew there was not a chance I was going to sleep a wink anymore. Jon's coming back. Tomorrow, nevertheless.

How could he do this to me?! He left. He was the one who left, saying that he'll never come back again! Does he think that he can just waltz back into my life with just an " I'm coming back to Malaysia"?! NO! I can't do this. Not again. He left, without saying goodbye. Alright, he did, over the phone. But I ... I guess I just expected something special. I'm a hopeless romantic afterall. I'm not going to do this. We all know how its going to end. I'd be the one who gets hurt while he goes back to his skanks in UK after this. I'm not getting involved with him. I don't want him seeing me, talking to me, texting me. None! Just how can he? ... After what I did to seal my heart against guys, emotions, everything. How could he? He has no right. Right. He doesn't know how much I've suffered for him as his ex-girlfriend, sister. Whatever. Just... go away. I'd like to live in my bubble of my life. With no emotions or guys. I'd rather live that way all my life and not see you again.